Whatever it takes…

As we all know, the achievement gap in this country continues to widen. How are we as a nation to shrink the gap when so many schools are failing ― even though we have a sense of what does work? I, together with some of my USM colleagues, had the valuable experience to hear Geoffrey Canada speak at the SHARP Literacy, Inc. luncheon in Milwaukee earlier this week. Canada is an education pioneer and CEO of the Harlem Children’s Zone (HCZ) who was profiled in the documentary "Waiting for Superman." He has been named to Time Magazine's list of the 100 most influential people in the world to educate children and strengthen the community.

Doing whatever it takes to educate children and strengthen the community. This tagline for HCZ describes Canada’s philosophy. He has demonstrated how to make children into the leaders of tomorrow―even when they live in areas where it is an anomaly to graduate from high school―by creating a community so tightly woven that it’s difficult to slip through the cracks.

Canada credits parents or guardians who have taken a stance and made the choice to invest in their child’s education experience. “At USM, students aren’t only learning the basics,” said USM parent Lisa Wright, who was also in attendance, “but they are exposed to all the other 'wonderful stuff' as Canada refers to that makes a child complete.”

Our children are so fortunate for many reasons. They are fortunate that they belong to families who have decided they will attend this incredible School. I’m so proud to be here with these students, because they are what makes this place amazing; it’s all about what they achieve as students.

I encourage you to take the time to explore Canada’s work with the Harlem Children’s Zone – it will inspire but also validate that you have taken a commendable stance.

Reflections from Preprimary Back-to-School Night

I thought I would share with you a bit about myself as a parent, sort of a self-revealing look into my experience raising two boys - and now, partially, a third. I am hopeful that, through this baring of my soul or public confession, so to speak, we will somehow bond together as parents and caretakers of our children. Bond together in the knowledge that this is not an exact science, this raising of children, no, in fact, it is far from it. There are days when it seems like some obscure, confusing card game, and they, the children, seem to be holding all of the cards, including the one with our hearts on it.

I am hopeful we will bond together, not in our expertise or clarification of the exact techniques that will produce excellence in child rearing, because these obviously do not exist, but rather we will join together in our shared mission to be the best parents and educators we can be ― even when the road is twisted and sometimes difficult to decipher. Those of us who work so hard trying to do just the right thing for our children and then only too often finding out that perhaps we have been grossly misled, and it really all becomes, well, quite confusing…

As the parent of children born in the late 1980’s and into the 1990’s, I read all of the articles, invested in all sorts of books with titles like, “What to Expect when you are Expecting”, “Becoming the Parent You Want To Be”, and my personal favorite, “How to Behave So Your Children Will Too”. My first child was born in 1987 and, in hindsight, I now realize that sometime between the early 1980’s, when I graduated from college (relatively unnoticed by my parents, I dare say, and certainly not a person they spent much time worrying about), and 1987 the year Jake was born, the media decided the world was a very dangerous place and there was much money to be made in child-protection devices. If they could convince parents that danger lurked behind every corner, it opened up a wide array of possibilities for things we might be talked into buying. We, as parents, were told we had an enormous responsibility not only to keep our babies safe from the horrors of the dangerous general public, but to also make sure that our children heard over and over again how smart and talented they were. We were told it was our responsibility to make sure our children were well-steeped in a strong sense of positive self-esteem as well as being secure. Is this beginning to sound familiar to anyone?

We were convinced that not only were the first two years of life a special bonding time when children either developed a sense of closeness and security from their parents and if, heaven forbid, you missed this small window of opportunity, surely they would become paranoid, insecure adults unable to hold down a job or develop lasting relationships either professionally or personally. The neuronal connections necessary to allow for the formation of permanent attachment mechanisms needed to be made at this tender age we were told, and no amount of nurturing or support later on could make up for a slip on our part in the area of bonding at this vulnerable young age. There would simply be wide gaps left between brain cells and no amount of love or nurturing could heal the lasting permanent damage. Furthermore, we were told that if we were to play opera or symphony music close to our stomachs while we were still pregnant (I believe they were selling devices to actually glue on to your skin, thank goodness I resisted this purchase, although I do remember thinking about it), we would most assuredly give our unborn child a leg up toward becoming a child prodigy, the next Beethoven or Mozart. At the very least, one study claimed, there was a direct link between listening to classical music in utero and the ability to read with fluency before the age of four! Again, a window of opportunity one did not want to take a chance on missing!

While we were busy playing music before birth, I also read that it was important to keep my baby with me at all times during the day once he was born, preferably hooked up in some sort of front or backpack so he could feel the same sense of security he had while growing during the pregnancy and, oh yes, if you really knew what you were doing, you would find a doctor willing to allow you to give birth under water so that the baby was not startled by bright lights and oxygen flooding through the nose too rapidly. Don’t worry, I also resisted this one! We were directed and, I dare say, manipulated by the media and the flourishing child-safety industry and responded grandly with open checkbooks as we were filled with the appropriate fears. We rushed out to buy just the right car seat and an appropriate car to go with it (Volvos and SUV’s became very popular around this time), cribs with appropriate widths between the bars. (I vividly remember carefully measuring the distance so as to not take a chance on my darling firstborn’s head getting wedged between them some time in the middle of the night – the fact that he could not move at all at birth did not cross my mind and by the time he could, his head was of course way too big to get lodged between the crib slats.) We also learned how to wrap our babies and tilt them on their sides, so they would neither suffocate nor aspirate during the night! It is a wonder any of us slept at all. Of course, the baby monitor was turned on full blast and we listened to their every breath waiting for any sound that might indicate trouble of any sort – like the possibility that they had flipped to their fronts or backs―horrors!

But what about the grandest hoax of them all? The part where we, as parents, were told we were responsible for our children’s self-esteem. Well, I took to this belief like a fish to water. After all, I am not only a parent, but an educator. I was raised by parents who thought I could do no wrong, and when I or anyone else tried to tell them this was a fallacy, they shook their heads and refused to listen. My mother always looked at us with wide-eyed disbelief when we began telling stories from our less-than-perfect childhood.

So, back to self-esteem building. I took this one on with a vengeance; beginning by videotaping my children’s every move. I thought everything they did was not only cute, but profoundly advanced for their ages. I still remember my disbelief when they got to school and weren’t always chosen to win every award or given the lead role in the school play. What could these confused adults have missed?! I had just spent the first five years of their lives telling them how smart, athletic, musical, and overall fabulous they were – so much so that I undoubtedly lost sight of reality somewhere along the way.

Then there were the middle years when the easy A’s of grade school began to give way and a few B’s slipped in. Could this be happening? We parents had not given up on our quest to make sure they all possessed appropriately enormous self-esteems! We, as parent/coaches, still provided a trophy for every child on the Little League team regardless of their skill sets or athletic contribution. Attendance was good enough and even those who skipped a few games deserved some recognition, didn’t they? So why didn’t these teachers and administrators recognize that it was certainly their responsibility to motivate our children and ensure they continued with the straight A’s? If we were responsible for their self-esteem, certainly the school was responsible for making sure they had their homework finished and were prepared well enough to score an A on every test?

So, why do I share my past neurosis with you at this point in the year? Because nothing bad has happened yet, and I want you to know that when it comes to our children, I am as clouded by “kid-love” as anyone. It is normal, biological, and nothing any of us need to apologize for – in fact, many experts are now saying we are raising the best, most accomplished, and secure generation of children ever. They are emotionally close to their parents and families, and they communicate with each other more often and efficiently than any other generation. Any of you who have children with access to a computer understand why keyboarding classes are almost passé. They type 120 words/minute by the time they enter high school and think nothing of maintaining friendships with literally hundreds of kids in several different states via texting or Facebook. This generation is the first of the technology natives.

These are great children, and we feel blessed to be working with them at this time and in this School. You, their parents, and we at the School are so influential and successful when we work together. The School has the benefit of the perspective gained from dealing with literally thousands and thousands of children. You, of course, have the unique perspective only a parent can provide. You are the ones who know your child: his/her talents, strengths, and even those areas where there are needs. Together, we present a balanced team, one dedicated to providing the best educational experience possible for your children. One that is balanced and supportive, yet challenging and motivating. So, as the year progresses and the inevitable successes and challenges arise, please communicate with us and we promise to do the same with you. Help us to understand your child, his/her individual needs and your desires for their growth academically, physically, artistically, and emotionally. And please remember, if you don’t believe half of what they tell you about us, we won’t believe half of what they tell us about you!

Becoming Sparklers: Reflections from Upper School Back-to-School Night

High school, or Upper School as we call it at USM, is an interesting time.  If we just thought about those two simple words – high school – I think that we could conjure up many different images and the spectrum of emotions would go everywhere from delightful to dismal. Is there any other time in our lives so fraught with emotions and complications? Any other time we remember with such clarity or, for some of us, choose willfully to forget?

Well, let’s think about this for a minute. Think about what they go through every single day. Take the 350 people who mean the most to you in the world; whose opinions really, really matter; have them come to one building every day, interact with them all day – oh, and then at the end of the day, go out and compete with them physically or perhaps perform with them, head for home and spend the rest of the evening communicating with this very same group either verbally, by texting or via Facebook, then socialize with a small subset of them on the weekends. Throw in a dose of hormones, an uncertain future, the fact that you may be actually competing with them for social status or perhaps a position on an athletic team – oh and don’t forget, this all culminates senior year with the college process when they are all forced to participate in an extremely rigorous selection process ― one which basically judges how you performed for the last four years and results in where you will spend the next four to eight years of your life. This list of destinations, of course, will finally be published for all to see.

How long do you think we adults would last in a world like this? A week?  Maybe two for the strong at heart…

So, what I am trying to say to you is that when your child comes home from school some days a bit wrung out and maybe even has a meltdown or two along the way, do not worry too much. We all survived it – high school – and perhaps it even made us stronger and more capable of dealing with life’s twists and turns.

Remember that your children need to learn these lessons, to cope with being judged, while learning not to be judgmental, to perform under scrutiny – in the classroom and on the playing fields. This is all actually very carefully and strategically orchestrated to prepare them for college and beyond.  It is not supposed to be a walk in the park, it is supposed to strengthen them and prepare them for independence. As I mentioned to the parents of our new students recently, the goal should be to “turn them over to themselves,” – gradually and strategically, making them independent.

So, why is this so darn hard for us as parents?  Why?  Because we love them and are consumed with this love. I dare say, it skews us at times.  I have had the joy of having all three of my boys at school with me throughout the last 10 years. Yes, I did say “joy” – some of you are looking a bit skeptical…

Throughout this experience it has become abundantly clear to me that all of my preparation and training as an educator is completely irrelevant when it comes to my own.  I can see all of yours very clearly – those other ones, the ones I am raising, not so much.  They have my heart, and they know it.  So, after 10 years of this, I have learned to turn them over to the experts, the educators who work in these amazing schools and are so very adept at raising other people’s children.  They really are experts.  I have seen it for years. Independent school educators are not only intellectuals who love teaching, but they are so much more than that. They have given their lives to working with kids – at the most complicated time in these childrens’ lives.  And do you know what?  They love it – they really do – I know this because I am here with them and I love it.

Throughout my years as a teacher and as an administrator in these amazing schools, I have observed the passion and compassion of these educators as they work with your children.  They truly care about educating the whole child: mind, body, and heart.  They care about teaching kids to think critically, analytically, and creatively.  They know how to instill in adolescents the ability to communicate effectively both in their written work and orally.  They model diligence and hard work and expect it from their students. This faculty knows that today’s students are different even from ten years ago.  Today’s students need to be digitally, quantitatively, and scientifically literate.  They need to be able to collaborate, to work in teams as well as by themselves.  Today’s teenagers will go off into the work world and begin jobs that may not even exist today.  They will need to be prepared with the skills to allow them to adapt, take initiative and not be afraid to take risks.  Perhaps most importantly, they will need to practice moral and ethical decision-making ― as the opposite, as we have all seen, is devastating.

Recently, I read an interesting quote from Thomas Freidman, New York Times columnist and author. Friedman was referring to the job world our children will enter.  He talked about the need for imagination, the ability to spark new ideas.

“If I just have the spark of an idea now, I can get a designer in Taiwan to design it.  I can get a factory in China to produce a prototype. I can get a factory in Vietnam to mass manufacture it.  I can use Amazon.com to handle fulfillment.  I can use freelancer.com to find someone to do my logo and manage my backroom.  And I can do all this at incredibly low prices.  The one thing that is not a commodity and never will be is that spark of an idea.”

At USM we are dedicated to guiding your children to becoming sparklers.  The path is complicated, they may not always enjoy it, but it is defined and measurable.

So, what are our measurables? Well, this was a very important question for me as I made the decision to come to USM.  I knew anecdotally, from speaking with my colleagues across the nation, that this is a school with a national reputation for excellence.  But, I needed more than that.  You see, I am shamelessly data driven.  Imagine how important it was for me to learn recently that not only is USM the best academic school in the Milwaukee area but we also lead the State of Wisconsin and our students are amongst the very top performers nationally:

Last year our students earned an ACT score average of 29.2, significantly higher than any area school, any other school in the entire state and ranking in the top 7% nationwide.  I also learned that across the nation last year, 58% of America’s Advanced Placement test-takers earned a qualifying score of 3, 4, or 5 on these challenging exams.  At USM, a qualifying score last year was earned by 94% of our students who took AP’s.

I hope hearing about these very quantifiable results helps to reinforce what you already know anecdotally. USM is the very best educational experience you can possibly provide your children.  I feel very lucky to have this opportunity to lead such an impressive school during this important time in its history. When the economy has rocked us, the job market continues to flounder, and more and more college graduates find themselves at a loss for where or how to find work, is there another investment with such opportunity for payback than providing our children with the very best education obtainable? A launching pad for the future?

One final word as I close, please remember we are only at our best when we work together as a team. Your children will draw strength from this and feel secure.  Please communicate with us your sons’ and daughters’ hopes, dreams, skills and challenges.  Nobody knows him or her better than you do and we recognize this as a school.  We thank you for sharing these delightful young people with us.

We Have Spirit, We Have Pride...

In my first few weeks at USM, walking the halls, meeting parents and teachers, and participating in Opening Day, it has been apparent that there is an abundance of School spirit and pride. This camaraderie was taken to new heights when I attended the Upper School Homecoming Pep Rally last week. There is no denying that these Wildcats are mighty! Take a few minutes to enjoy this video.

Go ‘Cats!

Reflections from Middle School Back-to-School Night

Middle School is not often one of the times in our lives that brings back the fondest of memories. Typically we remember this as a time of significant change and the accompanying awkwardness that often goes with this type of change. I remember vividly that my nose, teeth, and ears all felt way too big, and my hair too short and straight! Somewhere between fifth and eighth grade, I managed to gain 30 pounds and not grow even an inch. Around this time, I remember that boys became something to notice, they were worth laughing a little louder for and blushing a little harder for. They seemed to have all of the answers, knew all of the jokes and were adept at making us girls feel a bit out of the loop in every sense of the phrase. Definitely not a time when I felt composed or assured of my self-confidence or self-worth. So, although this was many more years ago than I care to remember, I imagine the feelings are much the same for your daughters as they risk similar insecurities and uncertainties while they negotiate the halls of Middle School.

And what about the boys? Well, I certainly do not have personal experience in this area – or do I? As the mother of now five sons, ages 9 to 24, I guess I can lay claim to having picked up a little insight over the years! I clearly remember my oldest, trooping off to sixth grade each and every day in the exact same outfit: white t-shirt, baggie jeans, and a flannel shirt unbuttoned so it could flow freely around his middle. What I am not sure of is whether he was covering his changing body or trying to look tough for the other guys – both very real possibilities. The boy world is certainly not any easier to negotiate than the one girls have to manage. They are still expected to be strong, resilient, and not to cry… yet, in Middle School, they are very much still little boys in so many ways – just in bigger, usually more awkward bodies than before. There could not be a time in our children’s lives when they change more dramatically. Not just physically, but, yes, emotionally. Our middle-school age children experience mood swings as dramatic as their height and weight change. They care about everything and nothing at the same time. They are little boys and girls one minute and then struggling preadolescents the next. And heaven help you if you look at them the wrong way!

So, how do we manage this here at school? This is the place where they spend the majority of their waking hours, surrounded by the peer group they are so deeply affected by – both positively and negatively. All of them together in one building, all day. How do we manage? Well, we manage by putting these unique, caring, and dedicated adults, our faculty, here with your children. These are people who have chosen to teach, but they have chosen more than that. They have chosen to teach preteens – or “Tweeners.” Yes, you heard me correctly; they chose to teach this age group. The amazing thing about this faculty is that they will tell you over and over again there is no other age group they would rather live and work with than these middle schoolers. They cite their freshness, relative innocence, budding intelligence, and the challenges of guiding them from concrete to abstract thinking. All of this done in an individualized program of differentiated learning that extends well beyond the confines of the classroom. These adults love working with your children and the kids know it. Our faculty recognizes the profound impact they have on them at this very important time in their lives. They understand the importance the students put on every word they utter, every move they make.

So, what do we do well here in the Middle School and throughout USM in general? This is what I have observed in my relatively short tenure here at USM.

Our faculty:

• require students to perform – orally, in writing, as well as, physically and artistically
• teach your children to think critically, to read and write both creatively and analytically
• create an environment where your children can build friendships for life
• model diligence and hard work and expect your children to learn to do the same
• cultivate an environment where most students are happy to go to school and, if they are not, they care about why not and try to help them to work through the issues.

Perhaps most importantly, the faculty allows them to stumble and to pick themselves back up with dignity and respect. To learn from this experience and apply that learning the next time they are challenged, whether that challenge comes in the form of academics or, as is often the case in Middle School, when the challenge is social or emotional.

Finally, what is your role in all of this as their parents? Well, I believe we are very strong together as a team. Together, we can provide for your children the power of an independent school education combined with strong family values. Together, we send them a strong message about the importance of education and character development. Together, we help to do the most important thing a school and parent community can do for children, we gradually and sometimes even strategically set them on their path in life. Remember, they will not always be happy. Every day will not always be filled with sunshine and perhaps the most difficult lesson for me to learn as I was raising my own children was one from a former head of school as I lamented to him about a difficulty my middle son was having and my wish to make it better for him. This experienced and wise head of school looked me right in the eye and said the following words to me, words that have stuck with me for years: “Exactly when did you take over responsibility for his happiness? Don’t you think he ought to own that?” It was then that I realized there is no greater gift I could provide my children than to put them in charge of their own lives, their own happiness. Difficult for me as a sometimes over-functioning parent who loved them deeply, but one of the most important gifts I could provide them as they grew.

So, thank you for sharing your most precious possessions with us. I am convinced that you are providing them a gift for life. There is not another school in the State of Wisconsin that provides a better education for children in grades PK through 12 – our statistics prove that as well as the anecdotal feedback from our graduates. You are preparing your children for life and this experience will change their lives – I promise you that…

Reflections from Lower School Back-to-School Night

On Thursday, September 1, I had the pleasure of speaking to parents at the Lower School Back-to-School Night. Below are my reflections on my experiences as a parent, sending my own children off to school, and the passion for learning at USM...

...you can also view my presentation here.

As I was preparing my remarks for tonight, I couldn’t help thinking back 19 years, and 17 years, and finally 10 years, to the first time each of my three children started school. Of all the childhood memories ingrained in my mind, the beginning of school for each of them is one of the most profound, both for its significance as the opening of a new chapter in our lives, and also for the mixed emotions I felt as my babies went off for the first time, out of my sight, to a place I thought we could trust, but let’s be realistic – nobody could do it quite right.

My most irrational moments undoubtedly came with my first child. I remember having these wildly varying emotions as we prepared for the trip to school. So excited to have him begin this new journey and looking forward to observing him as he grew and learned academically, socially, and emotionally; but also thinking the most irrational thoughts imaginable. Should I call ahead and discuss with the teacher the fact that she now had this unbelievable responsibility as the first adult other than family to have a significant impact on this treasure, our firstborn? Did she really understand the gravity of the task ahead of her? Luckily, by the second and third child, I had calmed down … somewhat!

So, I do remember the significance of those first days and the excitement of each subsequent year. I also remember how important it was for my children to experience different teachers, different personalities and styles, as they worked their way through grade school. I remember being surprised at how very important these other adults became in their lives. How well I remember the first time each of them corrected me as I pontificated on some topic with, “Well, actually, Mrs. Thompson says…” or “I don’t think so, mom, Mrs. Wells told us…” As a parent, you don’t know whether to be shocked that you are no longer the ultimate, singular authority in your children’s lives, their only source of information. Or should you be thrilled that not only did Mrs. Thompson say something quite wise; and obviously my child not only heard it, but learned it, and now is relaying this information back to me clearly and persuasively.

So why am I baring my soul to you at this early point in our relationship? Why am I exposing the relative lunacy of some of my early parenting moments? Because I want you to understand, that I understand… I have said so many times that my very best professional development was raising my three children – well, almost raising them, the youngest is still a work in progress. I know how intensely you love your children, how important their well-being is to everything you do, and how hard you work to protect them while realizing the importance of allowing your children to learn from other adults, to live and grow in their social and emotional development. You know how important being in this School is to allowing your son or daughter to have the opportunities you have dreamed of for him or her since the moment of birth.

A big part of my job is getting to know people, so I can help them when they need it. This means faculty, parents, administrators, but most especially your children. I spent the summer meeting with as many people as I could, so I would begin to get to know USM. I can tell you this much, you are providing for your children a very special gift.

I have been an educator for over 20 years, and USM is a school unlike any other. The one word that keeps coming to mind when I think about this School and the people I have met and talked with, is passion. There is such passion here. Passion for the School, passion for the students, and an amazing passion for excellence. Faculty members at USM do not just care about teaching or curriculum, they care about how children learn. The faculty is passionate about helping children thrive as individuals, while teaching and modeling for them the meaning of community.

As a parent, an educator and the new head of this School, what I want for your children is for them to experience opportunity: the opportunity to be their own personal best.

First and foremost, to achieve academically. This has been, and continues to need to be, our number one priority.

The statistical results at USM are outstanding. This School ranks amongst the very best, not just in the State of Wisconsin, but across the nation. Last year’s AP results are just one example of the success USM students experience as they reach the epitome of their educational experience – the Advanced Placement program. Across the nation, only the very brightest and best high school students participate in the AP program. Last year, these students achieved a 58% qualifying rate on the AP exams – this was touted across the nation’s media. American students were indeed achieving excellence. At USM, imagine the significance of this statistic: 96% of USM students sitting for AP exams achieved a qualifying score. Not 58%, but rather, 96%. This doesn’t happen in one year. The AP curriculum is the culminating result of the entire USM curriculum. The foundation begins in the Lower School, is built upon in the Middle School and then perfected in the Upper School. You are providing your children an unbelievable gift.

USM students to have the opportunity to excel in mathematics and science. To be challenged to think independently and to work together collaboratively. To practice analytical and creative thinking and problem solving, to develop digital acuity - quantitative and scientific literacy, to become more global in their thinking while developing valuable life skills such as: adaptability, initiative, and risk-taking; and finally to embrace the importance of moral and ethical decision-making.

Children need to grow outside of the classroom. I am devoted to continuing to build athletic and arts programs that allow for our students to excel. I have a strong desire for and will continue to support the need for winning teams; healthy, strong athletic kids; and those who appreciate and excel at both performance and visual arts. Quite simply, I want your children to have opportunity. Opportunity to excel… and I know that is what you want also.

I believe we have this opportunity here at USM. As the new head, I am unmistakably aware of the fact that I am not starting a new school, not developing new programs from scratch. Rather, I am inheriting a very special, passionate place, where students are provided the opportunity to excel, and where they do just that. While celebrating and respecting what we have, I am also committed to continuing this mission, to ― continuously and consistently ― look for more ways to distinguish USM as not only the very best educational experience in Milwaukee, but as one of the preeminent schools in the nation.

And then there are your children. What a very special gift they are. As I walked around the Lower School during these first special days of school, I found myself drawn to them. There is such warmth and excitement here. It is so easy to be drawn to this part of campus. As I went from classroom to classroom, listening and observing this very, very special place, it struck me, these teachers have won the jackpot! For that I thank you for sharing your most precious possessions with us as we work together to provide for them the foundation for the rest of their lives.